
Hello
friends, family, and even acquaintances who have kindly been
keeping Marce in your thoughts and prayers and continue to
ask about her and her family.
I’m sending this email out to several different “lists” I
have for Marce. My apologies if you are receiving it more
than once.
It’s with an unbelievably heavy heart that I come to you all
with this message. Marce and I spoke on Friday and it was
her wish that I convey this message to all of you. Here
goes…
Marce’s breathing has become quite an issue over the past
several months. She has recently started using her breathing
machine (previously used for bedtime only) full time…24/7…as
her ability to breath on her own has become very difficult
for sustained periods of time. It was at this point that
Marce needed to consider going on a ventilator. Though her
original plan was to take all measures to prolong her life,
she just made the very painful and heartbreaking decision to
vote against taking such measures. Since I am at a loss for
words, I think it’s best to leave the “talking” to Marce… In
her own words, typed out on her computer screen during our
visit on Friday, she typed… “Have decided against vent. My
body and heart tell me it’s time. I have a couple months if
that. It’s OK. It’s time.” Ladies…she seemed as “at peace”
as one could be with such a decision. Her mind is made up.
She’s doing it “Marce’s Way” (what a surprise!). I didn’t
know if Marce’s timeframe was just a guess on her part or if
it was truly reality so I called her sister who is a hospice
nurse and she was able to confirm the truth of Marce’s
statement. Based on her experience and knowledge, Diann
believes that Marce has a couple months at best. …I know!! I
can’t even believe I am writing these words!! It’s surreal.
It’s heartbreaking! The only action she wants taken is to be
given sedation (morphine), as needed, for comfort, when the
time comes. She and Harvey have spoken with the girls and
Marce believes that Rachel fully “gets it” but Meg and Han
are still coming to grips with this truth.
Tuesday Mornings. (For those of you who don’t know, Marce’s
home is open every other Tuesday for anyone who wants to
visit…front door unlocked…just walk on in). Her wish is for
all of you to know of the decision she made before you see
her. She adamantly stated that she does not want a
pity party. Though tears are SO appropriate at this time,
shedding them only causes her to have a terrible time
breathing and sends her into a panic state. So, ladies, I
realize it seems totally unnatural to NOT cry but, for
Marce’s sake, let’s do it AWAY from her. It is TRULY what
she wants. One last message straight from Marce… She kindly
requests that if you talk to your kids about her situation;
please also advise them to be tactful with Megan and Hannah.
It’s troubling her to imagine her girls being bombarded at
school with questions of their Mom’s pending death. If Megan
and Hannah should reach out, it’s a “green light”.
Otherwise, Marce would like the kids to direct any questions
they might have to their parents if at all possible. I’m
sure you all would have advised along those lines anyway but
I promised I’d pass along her wish.
Thanks for your friendship…all of you!! Thanks for listening
to me (and my MANY words) as I pass along “Marce News”. She
loves you all so much and is so thankful for your
friendship, support and love. I am too!!
For those of you who think you received this “out of the
blue”, just know that I sent it to you because you’ve
expressed concern and love for Marce over the years and I
thought you’d like an update on her condition. Thanks for
continuing to keep her and the Pasternaks close to your
heart.